There are several reasons why getting rejected can be good for you.
But we usually don’t see it that way.
Rejection is this awful thing that has to be avoided at all cost.
If you’re scared of getting rejected – you don’t ask
“If you don’t ask, you don’t get”. It sounds simple, but it’s true.
When you can’t bring yourself to ask for what you want, chances are, no one will magically appear and hand it to you.
“If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer’s always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.” – Nora Roberts
It takes courage to ask, especially when you’re more used to getting rejected than getting positive answers.
When people say “no” more often than “yes”, you obviously don’t feel so confident about asking for anything.
For many, asking for what we want puts us right outside our comfort zone. The fear of rejection makes you miss out on so many opportunities.
What if they say “no”? What if they don’t like me? What if the laugh at me and my ideas?
Don’t choose the automatic “No”
If you don’t ask, that’s an automatic “no”. Okay, you avoided failure and getting officially rejected, but the answer is still “no”.
So it all comes down to how bad you want it. Is it worth taking the risk of feeling embarrassed for a bit if someone says “no”?
Is it important enough to get over yourself and the story in your head about what “no” means?
“No” doesn’t have to mean anything
You are the one who gives getting rejected a certain meaning. A “no” doesn’t have anything to do with your worth. Don’t take it personally.
Maybe it wasn’t the right time, the right way to ask, or the right person.
Or your behavior showed that you didn’t feel comfortable about asking (if you’re totally honest).
You need to believe in what you’re asking for and that you deserve it. Confidence is key.
A “no” doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve what you asked for or that you won’t get it EVER. As with everything, practice will make you better.
So the more you ask for things, the more natural it becomes. And the more you realize that getting rejected has nothing to do with your value.
When people say “No” to you, your offer, or your request, what does it mean? – Absolutely nothing!
And the more confident you are, the higher your chances that people will say “yes”.
Often, your first “yes” can make all the difference in the world because it then turns into a virtuous circle.
There are no guarantees for not getting rejected
If you get braver and put yourself out there more often, it doesn’t mean that everyone will say “yes” all the time.
When you get to the point where you no longer take getting rejected personally, you also won’t take “no” for an answer.
I don’t mean this in an aggressive way. There’s a difference between being confident and cocky.
When you truly believe in what you’re asking for, you won’t just give up at your first “no”.
You will find better ideas, different approaches, or additional people to ask.
Your ask should be linked to something valuable you offer.
- Ask for a raise because of the great work you’re doing
- Ask for a date because you’re a wonderful person
- Ask for the sale because of the great product you have
- Ask for help because it allows you to be more present or kind
Don’t miss out because someone could say “no”. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
Getting rejected can be good for you because it builds your resilience. You also learn that rejection doesn’t have to be personal and that realization can help with your self-esteem.
It also shows you who you can count on or who shares the same values as you.
This allows you to choose your people more wisely and build a better inner circle.
So what about you?
Is it easy for you to ask for what you want? Or does the thought of asking for something gives you cold sweats and palpitations?
Enjoy your Sunday and imagine how great it would feel if you can confidently ask for what you want,
Improve yourself. Improve your life!
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