Here’s the good news
When you realize that the story you tell yourself changes how you see a situation or event, you can catch yourself.
You can manage how you react to whatever is happening by checking your story. Even if your first reflex is to feel:
- upset
- guilty
- sad
- angry
- self-pitying
- anxious
- scared
- frustated
- suspicious
- …
you can close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and ask yourself if this is the right reaction to what’s going on.
Even when life gets hard, most events are neutral. It’s your story about it that makes you feel a certain way. Your (irrational) story causes the drama.
Naturally, this happens when you already feel self-conscious about a subject or when it always triggers your anger.
Otherwise, you wouldn’t make up the story on how this confirms what you’re already thinking. Perspective is a powerful thing.