Here’s a thought: Don’t settle if you want to see how much better your life can get. You’ll never know how much settling has cost you.
Or maybe you already have a vague idea. But it probably hurt you more than you can imagine.
“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for” – Maureen Dowd
Isn’t that a terrible thought?
Settling means you compromise yourself, your beliefs, or your needs to accept something you don’t really want.
And this actually hurts you at least twice. Immediately when you accept the compromise, and then again when the result gets even worse than that.
You see, it’s important that you don’t settle anymore.
And it doesn’t make a difference if you’re settling for work, your relationship, family, friends or your self-care…
It’s true for any area of your life.
Why we settle
You’re afraid
There’s always this fear that you may miss out completely. Better safe than sorry, right?
And so it seems better to have a “not so great” arrangement rather than no arrangement at all.
Sure, you know you deserve a pay raise or a promotion. It’s even blatantly obvious.
But what if it backfires and you get ridiculed?
Or you try to work for yourself and your first offer is a complete failure?
So, although “don’t settle” is good advice… it’s easier said than done. ( You can also check out this post that’s brimming with good advice quotes!)
You’re unaware
Another potential reason why you settle is that you got so used to your situation that you don’t even think about a better option.
You become desensitized to your circumstances and just go on living your life that way.
Yes, your salary may not be great, but it’s just enough to get by. So the thought of a better paying job doesn’t even cross your mind.
Or you never got to do the thing that sets your soul on fire.
And so you don’t even know what it is – and you don’t miss it.
There can’t be change without awareness
You don’t feel worthy
The biggest reason for settling is this: you believe that you don’t deserve what you truly want and feel like an imposter.
You think you’re not smart enough, not pretty enough, not experienced enough, not brave enough, not ______ enough(fill in the blank)….
If you can’t get what you really want, you might as well settle, right?
If you’re totally honest, you only settled because you didn’t believe in yourself.
Or maybe you know your worth but you’re pretty sure that no one else can see it.
So you don’t even want to risk fighting for it. Fear of rejection is a strong enemy.
You’d rather settle than make yourself vulnerable.
Don’t settle – Accepting less is bad
But when you settle, it gets even worse than what you signed up for. So what can you do to stop doing it?
You’ll never get what you want if you don’t ask for it.
If you don’t believe in yourself, how could anyone else?
People who are sure about their value, don’t hand out discounts and they don’t settle.
Imagine if that could be you. What would your life be like? How much better and free would you feel?
And it can be you.
Every time you accept a deal or situation, ask yourself if you are truly happy with the outcome – or if you’re afraid that this is the best you can get.
When you accept things you don’t really want, you leave no room for the thing you truly want. Don’t settle out of fear.
Once you decide what you want, how do you make it happen?
You know what you have to do. So what is it?
- Start hustling?
- Ask for a raise (again)?
- Finally quit your job?
- Move somewhere else?
- Start networking?
Believe in yourself, dare to promote yourself, and be patient.
Let’s see how that works out.
So don’t settle! You may be surprised by what you can get.
- The Joy Factor: The Secret Ingredient to Crush Your Goals - July 13, 2023
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- Let No One Stop You From Following Your Dreams - August 13, 2022
