Like for many of us, it’s probably hard for you to value yourself.
We often think that people are either confident or they’re not.
Some seem like they were just born with it, right?
And chances are that you think you weren’t so lucky.
But we got it all wrong.
More than a natural gift, confidence is actually a skill.
This not only means that it can be trained but also that you have to practice to get better.
do You think any of this?
- What will others think of me?
- What if I fail?
- I don’t have enough money
- I’m just not good at this
- I don’t have the right network
- I’m too old/young
- It’s too hard
- Who am I to be doing this?
You are not alone with these thoughts.
But you are the one thinking them – and letting them hold you back.
Even the most successful people in the world struggle with self-doubt and fear.
They just don’t let it stop them.
The more you move past the fear the less scary it becomes.
And if you need help with keeping yourself motivated, you can find a list of motivation tips here.
Yes, some people have an advantage
People who seem naturally confident often were lucky. They grew up in a very encouraging environment with lots of positive feedback.
If everyone tells you that you’re great at maths and you also get proof from good grades…
Of course, you’ll feel pretty confident about your math skills. It’s easier to value yourself if other people do, too.
Or imagine you go talk to a stranger. You really connect and you have a great conversation.
When it’s always your experience that people love you and want to be around you…
Again, you’ll feel confident about talking to strangers and meeting new people.
Others are not so lucky
It’s a whole different story if you feel super uncomfortable when you have to talk to someone new…
Because it usually ends up being super awkward.
You don’t know what to say, you suck at small talk, and you just want to get the heck out of there.
Then you don’t feel so confident about your people skills, correct?
If you look back at the terrible presentations you gave in school because you were so nervous that you couldn’t even think straight…
You probably still think that you can’t speak in front of an audience and don’t value yourself or your skills enough.
Value yourself – you can get confident, too
You can get better at anything you don’t feel confident about.
If you’re willing to push through the fear.
You can build your confidence over time…
By doing the very thing, you’d rather avoid, again and again.
Of course, it feels awkward and awful in the beginning.
Your hands are shaking, you’re sweating, and you feel like you’re about to throw up.
All you want is to make this feeling go away.
But the more you practice it, the more natural it starts to feel.
After a few times, you will no longer freak out so badly.
Right until the point where you feel so confident you don’t even have to think about it anymore.
You’ll just do it.
Imagine how freeing it would be if you could value yourself and just do what you want to do.
To do the thing you know you have to do if you want to be successful?!
And that’s how most people got great at what they are doing.
It’s a myth that they were all just lucky.
They worked through the painful feeling in the beginning.
That’s why they succeed.
So what can you do?
Okay, all this theory is nice, but what are some actionable things you can do to help you value yourself and practice your confidence?
You can start by setting yourself little challenges every day to do something that’s out of your comfort zone.
You don’t have to do something huge, really just little things.
Like a confidence warm-up.
- Ask 3 strangers for help every day (directions, which bus to take, what time it is because you forgot your phone…)
- call the restaurant, the store, or the company to ask for information
- post an update of something
- do a presentation in front of your friends or family
- suggest something to your boss
- ask someone you like if they want to hang out. Not like a date, something casual (maybe with other people)
- at a party or a networking event, decide you can’t leave if you haven’t talked to at least 3 people (even for 30 seconds)
- respectfully disagree with someone
- dance or sing in front of your friends and family
These are simply a few suggestions to get you started.
You know best what scares you.
And the better you get, the “harder” your challenges can become.
You can also give journaling a try. With the right prompts, it can truly impact your confidence, your mood, and your success in life!
Don’t listen to the scared inner voice that’s trying to hold you back.
Trust yourself and have a little faith in your abilities.
Value yourself and you can get confident, too – if you practice!
read this next
- Let No One Stop You From Following Your Dreams
- Courage Means You Do It Anyway So Are You?
- Self-Promotion Feels Icky. Here’s Why You Must Do It
- The Joy Factor: The Secret Ingredient to Crush Your Goals - July 13, 2023
- Areas of Personal Growth – Focus on Just One - September 3, 2022
- Let No One Stop You From Following Your Dreams - August 13, 2022